You might find yourself at a difficult point in your life when as the offspring of your parent they suddenly become the child and you become the carer. Elderly parents can develop a wide range of health problems from mental to physical that mean they can no longer maintain their own independence. At this point, you might think about bringing them to live with you. But is this the right decision?
The Stress Of Being A Carer
Ultimately, when you decide to bring your parent to live with you, you will be taking on the role of a carer. It will be your responsibility to make sure that they are safe and well looked after, particularly if they are suffering from a particularly severe medical condition. You might even find it feels like having another child in the home. This is a rather bleak way to look at it, and that’s not to say there aren’t benefits of this decision. But ultimately, the stress might be too much to deal with.
Yes, it can be dangerous to bring an elderly parent into your home to live with you. It’s dangerous for them, particularly if they don’t have the level of the care and attention necessary to ensure their wellbeing. But it’s also dangerous for your family. Elderly parents with dementia during an episode may respond aggressively even to someone who is trying to help them. It’s certainly a worry that you need to be aware of.
If you have an elderly parent come and live with you, then you will need to make changes to your home that makes it safe and accessible to them. This could include everything from ramps to a stairlift, and many of the changes will completely alter your home.
You will be faced with taking on a number of key commitments that you can’t simply ignore when you live with your elderly parent. Kiss those family holidays goodbye and don’t think for a second that you’ll still be able to go out in the evening. Your life will change forever.
There are a few alternatives that you can consider to this type of arrangement. The first is thinking about home care for your elderly parent. With home care, they can either live in your home or theirs, and you won’t be the carer. Instead, they can have 24/7 support to help them. This ensures that your relationship with your parent doesn’t change and provides you with the relief that you need.
Alternatively, you might consider helping your parent relocate to a care home. However, be aware that many experts believe care homes can be damaging and cause an elderly parent’s condition to deteriorate faster. This might be because they have to understand and learn a new environment. There are also suggestions that in some care homes elderly individuals will not get the one on one care they need for the best quality of life.
We hope this helps you determine whether living with your elderly parent is the right decision.