Every relationship has their ups and downs. Most of them end at some point. We might like to think that we have always found the next great, eternal love of our life, but it’s naïve to assume that things will never be rocky. So, if we know that a rough patch might come eventually, how do we make sure that we stop things from turning ugly? If we have argued before, how do we stop the next argument from getting as bad?

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Talk it out

Doesn’t it sound like such an easy solution? Almost too simple, if anything. But the truth is that most relationships fail because of a breakdown in communication. Sometimes it’s not you who fails to communicate and there’s little you can do but encourage your partner to be honest and to trust you when sharing. But you have to take care of your relationship by ensuring you communicate what you feel is important at the time. Don’t sit on a disagree and let it become resentment. Don’t “stockpile” arguments mentally to throw out in future. It becomes nothing more than bitter sniping that looks nothing like communication and more like a verbal war.

Think about it

That’s not to say you should immediately blurt out anything you think is wrong, either. It’s important to know your own emotions and why you might react a certain way to certain situations. Our first response to emotionally distressing news or events isn’t always the most reasonable or sensible, even to our later selves. Give yourself some time to think about the issue and maintain your cool before addressing it.

Be mindful

Always be aware of how the things you say might affect your partner. You should never aim to hurt them, even if it feels like self-defense. Stand up for yourself and represent your side but try to find the solution that works for both people. Even at the end of a relationship, divorce mediation can keep things a lot more civil than fighting it out in court. No matter how things get, you’re going to end up with more for yourself if you negotiate rather than battle.

Own up

It can be hard, but it is essential that we acknowledge, admit, and apologize for the mistakes we make along the way in a relationship. We all make them. Admitting to your own encourages your partner to do the same, and to think about mistakes they make that they weren’t previously fully aware of. An apology can be the start of building a bridge that ends in reconciliation. It leaves you vulnerable, but the nature of trust and love in a relationship means exposing that vulnerability from time to time. If it’s meant to work out, your partner will show that vulnerability, too.

No matter what challenges or obstacles get in the way of a happy relationship, there is no reason to let things get bitter or hateful. In the end, holding onto those feelings only hurts you deeper. Keep things from getting ugly and know that you can come off any difficulties stronger.


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