I’m currently talking to my friend right now, and somehow the topic led to our exes and he just went ballistic about his ex from years ago. He told me how she always gets around, how she’s a gold digger, and eventually, how she ended up getting (and giving) STDs to the people she slept with.
I also had my fair share of bashing an ex. Back in high school, I had a nasty break up which filled me with so much anger from the bullshit that piled up from our year of dating.
One of the biggest thing that angered me was finding out that he was sexting graphically to his first ex on Facebook and then lying to be with excuses like “She hacked into my Facebook account”, “She thought it was a fun joke,” etc. etc. I was smart enough to see through his lies but when I found out about those messages, I also emailed a copy to myself. Why? I have no idea.
But, when the break up came and I was filled with anger, I ended up posting their entire conversation on my old blog and on top of that, calling him the worst names possible and sharing the details of his personal dating/sex life and preferences.
Back then, I shared my blog with everyone so a lot of people from his school read it. I also Googled his name and the girl’s name (I didn’t delete their names from the convos) and it was the first hit on Google.
I felt so… happy… from what I did, bashing him for treating me like shit. But then my friend, Amy, told me to take it down for the sake of his professional image. I was also scared that he or the girl might press charges so after a few weeks, I ended up taking it down. However, Google and a few other sites managed to have a cache file of it for a few more months.
That’s the last time I’ve ever bashed an ex. Even my heartbreak from a few months back didn’t receive any backlash. The worst I’ve ever said to him was “Fuck you!” and even then I was felt guilty. Despite the few bad things he’s done, I haven’t bitched about him saying he’s a horrible person that deserves to be driven over by a truck and then eaten by a lion. It could be my feelings talking, but to me, he’s still a beautiful being.
I mean, it’s one thing to say, “He was a cheater,”, “He treated me like shit, that asshole,” etc. etc. you know, those one liners that just sums up your ex’s character and the emotion of hatred towards them.
But, is it ever okay to bash an ex?
Looking back, I admit that I crossed the line and let my emotions get the best of me. I learn to keep my break ups and relationship troubles privately, or at least, just a casual, “we broke up”. But from my experiences, I think it’s such a waste of energy to take the time to spend hours, hell, even months trash talking about an ex. I understand it’s nice to get it allllll out, but after that, just move on. If you’re still bitching about him five months later, it just looks bad on you.
Despite what I’ve done, I don’t believe in trash talking about past relationships. I don’t want to taint him image; words spreads quickly. But, if the boy ended up cheating on me, well, yes, I’d feel like I want to warn the next girl that this guy is a potential cheater. But other than that, I wouldn’t spend an hour telling everyone at the party that my ex has a small wee-wee, you know what I’m sayin?
Have you ever bashed your exes? What’s your opinions on people that trash talk their exes?