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Dating and Relationships

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Trouble in Paradise: How To Tell if You Are Really In Love

If you are with someone but you are not quite sure if what you are experiencing is love or relationship butterflies then you will understand how confusing this can be. After all, you need to know if the other person feels the same way and you can’t do this unless you know how you feel yourself. If you want to find out more, simply read on.

Meeting them is the Best Part of Your Day

You know you’re in love when seeing the other person is the highlight of your day. You may spend all day looking forward to seeing them again and if you love someone then you never get tired of them. It doesn’t matter whether you have had the worst day ever at work or whether you simply want to spend some time with someone who truly cares about you, because when you are in love, you can always count on them to make your day better and you can also count on them to make those rainy days that little bit brighter.

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They’re the Last Thing on Your Mind When You Go To Sleep

The love of your life will probably be the first thing you think about in the morning and there is also a chance that they will be the last thing that you think about when you go to bed. When you experience something positive in your life, they are always the first person that you want to tell and you are always happy to hear about their day or any news that they have to share with you. Every moment that you spend with them will also most likely make you feel complete.

You Put Their Needs above Your Own

When you are with someone who you truly care about, you will always put their needs above your own. You may always see your needs as being more important than someone else’s but when you are in a relationship or when you are in love, this is not the case and you will always feel better when you are around them. Love is all about realising that there is someone who you care about more than yourself.

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They’re Your Best Friend

Love is very much about being able to count on someone when you need them the most. When you are in love, your soulmate will also be your best friend. You can tell them anything and you can trust them with nearly everything. If you are not sure if you are experiencing love with the person who you are with, why not try AstroStyle’s Astrology love matcher? This is a sure-fire way for you to know if the person who you love is really the one for you.

Being in love is really about taking a chance. It is about letting yourself go for someone, but if you have never been in love before then this can be a hard feeling to recognise. That’s why it helps to know how love makes you feel about someone, so you can know for sure whether or not you’re experiencing it.

Want Romance? Go Disney

There is no better place on earth to find magic and excitement, than Disney World. It’s something that is always geared towards children in television adverts and movies and merchandise, but most Disney fans are now adults. This doesn’t mean that they’ve grown out of the magic, though, and spending time in Disney World is going to recapture that childhood excitement. The idea of going on your next adventure to Disney World without children may seem like a strange one, but more and more adult couples head there for a romantic break now more than ever.

 

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You can experience thrills, grown-up tastes without going internationally to find them and time to get in touch with your inner child. There are wine bars that are world class, thrill rides and attractions and shows that can just blow the mind of an adult as much as it can a child. Heading to Disney World with matching printed t-shirts from Nationwide Disc and no kids? Well, that’s a holiday of a lifetime right there! You may need a nudge in the right direction toward the romance of it, so check out the tips we’ve got for you below:

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Go Big At Bedtime. Disney World have a plethora of hotels that you can choose from. If you’re on a budget, then staying off site outside the parks is a good idea, but you won’t get the same experience. When you book your room, choose to upgrade your bed to the biggest you can find and call ahead to confirm so you don’t show up and see two beds in the room. Disney World is not a place that advertises snuggle time between grown-ups, but that doesn’t mean you can’t plan for it!

Make Your Magic Happen. Disney World is flooded with family-themed restaurants, but that doesn’t mean you can’t grab a taste of Europe in the France and Italy pavilions in Epcot. The Tutto Gusto Wine Cellar stocks over 200 bottles of perfect, Italian wines, and you can round off the perfect evening with a split dessert at Amorette’s Patisserie in Disney Springs. For real magic, try out a horse-drawn carriage for two.

Dodge Crowds. You can’t go to Disney World and expect the crowds to dissipate for you. So, you need to be smart about what you do and when. Book in for some shows, but when you know families are headed for the rides, you should spend time in the hotel spa or by the pools. Then you can head to the rides together when the families take their kids for lunch or dinner. There are ways to be together and have fun without being jostled by the crowds, just be smart.

Heading to Disney World for a romantic break may seem confusing to most, but think about it. Childhood magic that you once experiences can be recaptured in an entirely new way. You can spend time seeing shows, meeting characters and trying amazing food – all with the person that you love the most.

4 Tips for Getting Over a Breakup

Getting over a breakup with a partner can be one of the hardest things to do in life. Even if you’re fully aware that the relationship was toxic, or you weren’t right for each other, it’s still difficult to walk away from. Feeling like yourself again can take time and patience, but there are often times when we just can’t see our way through it. So, here are a few tips if you’re struggling to get over your breakup.

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Allow Yourself to Grieve

You’ve just lost someone really important in your life, and it can feel exactly like the death of a loved one. You no longer have that person around and your life will change because of it. When you breakup with someone, you have to go through a grieving process in order to find closure. It’s okay to feel like a mess, and spend your evenings crying while you remember good times. Suppressing your natural urge to do so will just mean you take longer to get over it. So, stock up on the tissues and let it all out. You’ll feel much better when you do.

Cut All Ties

We’ve all been there. You want to be cool about it and do your best to continue being friends with your ex-partner, just so you can still have him/her in your life. But, nine times out of ten that doesn’t work. You can’t move on with your life if you’re constantly watching what your ex-partner is doing on social media or getting jealous when you see them with someone new. It’s enough to drive anyone crazy. If you truly want to get over your breakup as quickly as possible, you have to remove your ex-partner from your life.

Don’t Jump Off the Rails

When you’re feeling hurt and depressed, all you want is to feel something else. It would be easy to try and numb the pain with alcohol, drugs or one-night stands, but it’s no good for you in the long run. If you need help because you’ve developed a dependency on substances after your breakup, take a look at Recovery In Motion. The best thing you can do is avoid the urge to drown your sorrows and distract yourself with other things, like meals out with friends or joining a new exercise class.

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Talk It Out

You’ll go through a range of different emotions when you’re trying to handle a breakup. Keeping everything you feel to yourself can make you overwhelmed and less likely to cope well. Talk to a friend or family member that you know will be understanding and can give good advice. Just the act of telling someone how you feel can be a huge weight lifted off your shoulders. Don’t be afraid to be honest, even if you think what you’re feeling is crazy. It can help to know you’re not the only one who has felt that way before.

Getting over a breakup will take time, but it will happen and you will be okay.

Why You May Not Have a Boyfriend

Oh, how dating has changed…

Modern dating is complex. It’s literally a game that has the default level set to difficult. It’s a game that you can’t cheat – I mean, you can try, but it’ll never work out. It’s a game that will leave you feeling vulnerable, upset, happy, exposed, and everything in between. It’s a game that you can win in a few weeks or months, but for some, it could take years to win.

But you know what? It’s a game worth playing because the prize is worth it.

So, what happens when you’ve playing this so called ‘dating game’ for some time but feel like you’re nowhere near the finish line? It feels like there’s just one level that you’re always dying at and the game throws you back the last saved spot.

Have you ever thought that… maybe it’s not the game, but it’s the player?

Here’s my observation with this dating game and why I think it’s typically the player rather than the game.

*Disclaimer: by no means is this post meant to insult or disrespect anyone single! These are just my opinions and observations on why some girls (and guys) are unsuccessful in dating. This is not to say that every girl needs a man in her life – if you choose to be single, you do you (although, why you’re here is a bit odd). And yes, you’re correct… I don’t have a PhD in modern dating.

You go after a specific type of guy. Girls like to have the mentality that they can change a man (read boy), so they go after anyone…. and I mean, anyone that catches their attention. “Bad boys”? – Yup, I can change them! Friends with benefits? – Yup, I can turn him into my boyfriend! Just friends – I can get out of the friendzone. Stop! You shouldn’t have to change someone in order to be with them! When they’re ready to date, they’re ready. Don’t go around trying to change a guy into a boyfriend material or delusion yourself that they’re interested in a relationship with you.

Also, stop going after immature boys. A man would tell you straight up how he feels about you and what he wants from you. Boys will beat around a bush, and make excuses.

You reap what you sow. You can’t expect to get a boyfriend when you’re still out there seeking casual sex from every attractive guy. I mean, it’s not to say that a friends with benefit can’t transition into a boyfriend (I’ve seen this happen before!), but generally speaking it’s not going to happen. I believe that the more you do something (in this case, casual sex), the more people will associate you as just someone to have sex with. Not to date, but just to have sex.

It’s different to say you want to have sex and you want a boyfriend. If you want nothing but casual sex, you do you. But you can’t say you want casual sex and proceed to hold out for a boyfriend.

You lack interests. If we met and I asked you what do you do for fun or what are some of your interests and you reply with a shrug and say, “I dunno”… I’m going to roll my eyes. If you’re 20-something years old and you still can’t properly define your interests, how are you going to find a guy that holds similar interests? You know how boring that makes you look? Guys love to see the sparkle in a girl’s eye when she rambles on about her interests.

Go out there and find some hobbies and interests! But, whatever you do, don’t make them up. Find yourself having the same interests as the ten billion other people out there? Elaborate on why you’re interested. Set yourself apart because if you say hiking, beer, and travelling … well, what sets you apart from the other potential dates?

Your standards are too high. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have any standards when finding a partner but… maybe you’re asking too much? Yes, there is a guy that’s tall, dark, handsome, funny, kind, with a good education and nice paying job, and gets along well with your family and friends, and surprises you with gifts, and is exactly 6 years older than you… but chances are, it’ll probably take years to find someone that matches ALL your standards. I mean, hey, feel free to wait, it’s not my call to say don’t. But… be realistic with your standards.

It’s not to say go date someone without a career just because he’s handsome and kind. Find what suits you and learn to accept that everyone is flawed. If he crosses off majority of the things you look for in a partner but has one or two things that you’re not keen on, learn to live and love those flaws. Don’t brush someone off just because they didn’t tick ALL your boxes.

Guys judge on appearance. Let’s be real – physical attraction is what gets us talking to people. Majority of the guys I’m friends with, past and present, all had one thing they like about their significant other, or their crush(es) – casual and simple. They love the simple jeans and tee look, or the hair down, settle make up look. When they see that, they see someone that’s lowkey, casual, and relaxing to be with. They also appreciate it when girls put effort into their appearance, but if you’re always dressed up with heels and heavy make up, and carrying only designer bags – guys are probably going to think you’re high maintenance.

If it’s the weekends or after work, ditch the high heels and your $600 dress, and change into a $60 sneakers and a $10 tee. Wipe off that excessive make up and put on some blush and mascara – that’s it. Don’t be dressing in rags and not giving a damn, but just play with your wardrobe a bit and realize that less is more.

You’re desperate. This may sound harsh but there are girls out there that are simply desperate to be in a relationship, and you know what? It shows… and it’s a turn off for a lot of people. Desperation is never a good accessory to wear.

You’re insecure. Similar to desperation, insecurity shows through. There’s nothing worst than seeing someone that doesn’t love themselves. I don’t mean it in a superficial way – I mean it as, you don’t love yourself enough to feel confident about your body and personality; you don’t love yourself enough to respect your space and feel independent. You get overly jealous over little things.

It’s cliche but learn to love yourself before you love someone else. Insecurities in relationships is unhealthy.


Your name mind as well be Negative Nancy. Nobody enjoys being around negative energy, so shut up. It’s okay to moan and complain about things here and there, but to do it constantly to the point where everyone just thinks you’re bitter and angry at the world is another. Be happy. Change your perspective in things and stop complaining so much.

And, sometimes… it’s just your personality. Here’s the thing – you can have interests, looks, and all that but bottom line, your personality could suck. That’s the reality. But, you can change your personality. It’s not a set permanent thing. Maybe you’re waaaaay too obnoxious? Borderline rude and not sassy? Personality plays a huuuuuge factor in attracting the opposite sex and if your personality is shite… well, the game just got harder.

Still with me? I don’t blame you if you mentally just cursed at me right now.

Dating is fun but I think a lot of girls (and even the guys I know) tend to blame the game rather than themselves. Don’t get me wrong – things like Tinder, open relationships, careers, travelling, etc. are all valid reasons that can prevent or make it harder to win this dating game but it’s not near impossible to find someone to date in this modern age.

I don’t hate the dating game – I’ve had my fair shares of being rejected, but I truly believe it’s how we portray ourselves out there that determines weather we have a chance at winning the game or not.

But, hey… like I said earlier – this is just my opinions and every game is different! Best of luck!

The Story of Us

This is a very cliche title, and I hate it. So, you and me both have to suffer through this cringe-worthy title post until one of us comes up with a better title.

I think it’s with safe measures to introduce someone special in my life without me having to become a 33 years old newlywed next week (read Sam). Trust me, after that blew up, I’m playing it on the safe side before I announce anything.

This is Dan and he’s my boyfriend. He’s a few years older than me and is a personal trainer (yuuuuus)… For those who have followed me/us on Instagram or see us on Facebook but don’t know how we came about, well… it’s story time.

Ready? Got a cuppa in hand? (<— that means cup of tea in British slang).

As everyone knows, I used to work at a gym. In the late summer of 2016, I left that job in pursuit of a recruiting assistant position to kickstart my career. Shortly after I left, my manager decided to hire a few more staffs and Dan was one of them.

I remember the first time I saw Dan when I stopped by the gym a few days after starting my new job – I saw him for a few seconds and was immediately curious about him; however, I saw him as I was exiting the gym so I didn’t stick around to inquire or anything. During this time, I was also casually seeing Sam (oh boy, are you guys in for a treat when I talk about Sam). On a few of our dates, Sam and I would go biking on the seawall and I still got free bike rentals from the gym, despite not working there anymore. One evening, we took the bikes out past 8pm (the closing time for the bike shop) so I had to go into the gym to ask for the keys to the shop next door.

Dan was standing at the front desk, studying from a textbook when I came in and asked for the keys. He was focused on his book but it was the first time I got a glimpse of him and boy, my curiousity from the first time I saw him just kicked into full gear. Now, you’re probably thinking, Claire, you’re seeing Sam… wth? and yes, while I was seeing Sam and he was great and cute, I was still accepting a few things that typically turns me off from a guy. I think the fact that I was never fully 100% attracted to Sam made me eye Dan when I technically shouldn’t have. At this point, I think I also texted a few a girls to ask who the new guy was.

Sam and I were no longer a ‘thing’ shortly after in mid-September… and while it did bruised me a bit, I got over it within a week. September, I also finished my undergrad as well and my parents decided it’d be a fun trip to head over to China for a month.

Let’s fast forward through October 2016 where I was overseas for a month.

After my trip in November, I realized – I’m jobless, broke, and need money to pay bills asap. My recruiter gig didn’t work out for me because it was commission-based and really boring. The gym was the only resort left that would allow me to get a job asap. After a bit of debating, I sucked up my ego and went down the gym to ask the new manager about getting my job back. Luckily, he was looking to hire and he knew of me.

When I walked out of that meeting with the new manager, I instantly texted Madison and Kat and asked about Dan – mainly if they knew he was single or not. And, to make sure he wasn’t talking to another girl.

Their response? “Dan’s the most single guy on this earth that I know”.

Score!

Now, when I see someone I really like and want to get to know, I’m not shy or afraid to make conversation. I really had my eyes out for Dan so during the first two weeks of working at the gym again, I talked to Dan. We made conversation and we got to know each other. I was literally having a school girl crush on him, and I haven’t felt this way about someone in ages – we’re talking about full on blushing and butterflies in your stomach.

We flirted a bit throughout work as well. And, yes, I like to meet people at work because hell, where else would I meet potential dates? At one point, it was Laura’s birthday party and he said he would come after the UFC fight. He stopped by briefly for a moment to see everyone and wish Laura a happy birthday before leaving. I was upset, not going to lie because I was looking forward to seeing him there. When I asked him about that night later, he said his best friend was drunk AF, and he felt ditching the two of them. Fair enough, I supposed.

On Remembrance Day, I asked Dan out to the Christmas Market. I remember this day because I was working a bank holiday. He came in for a workout around noon-ish and all I could remember was smiling like an idiot and blushing when he came in. I casually asked him to the Christmas Market which was two weeks away and he agreed. A few moments after that, I realized… well, shit… I gotta wait two weeks to go on this date with him.

Sometime mid next week, I found followed Dan into the staff room – I was getting off work and he was having another food break. I have a sushi tattoo on my inner arm and when I took off my uniform jacket, he got a glimpse of it and we eventually talked about our mutual love for sushi.

He asked me if I wanted to go grab some lunch this weekend with him. Umm… why not?! We made plans but at that time, his phone was broken so he technically didn’t have a working phone so we never exchanged numbers. He said, “I’ll add you on Facebook…. I’ll just find you through Kat’s friends list or something.”

So, I waited. And waited. And waited. It was at night time when he sent the friend request and I honestly couldn’t stop smiling over that little notification that popped up… it’s so silly, isn’t it? I texted the girls and Kat said, “It’s literally just a friend request…”, but it felt like an exchange of numbers seeing as it’s his way of communicating.

A day before Saturday, and then a few hours before meeting up, I was extremely nervous. I thought he would bail out, or took this lunch thing as a friends only because… who goes on lunch dates? Friends do. Not romantic partners. The girls reassured me that Dan is a nice guy and someone that follows through with plans and wouldn’t bail or stand me up. They also told me that Dan likes me and it’s definitely not a friends thing.

#OOTD for date.

Our first date was over brunch at Trattoria because the sushi spot was closed for lunch (lame). Everyone at work knew about our date. He asked to hang out some more throughout the week until the weekend rolled around, aka the weekend of the Christmas Market, our original first date.

That weekend, he was working so I stopped by the gym around the time when he’d be off. The Christmas Market was help upstairs so it was fine. When I came by, he was surprised. It turns out, he wasn’t aware we were going to the market… I mean, he knew we were at some point but he didn’t know it was this weekend. But, he dropped all his plans and agreed to come out with me.

Here’s the kicker: before entering the market, he pulled me aside. He said something along the lines of “I like you, but I don’t want anything serious. I want to see you exclusively but just nothing serious.”

Let me tell you – my disappointment was through the roof at that moment. I put on a smile and nodded but it left me disappointed. You know how many times I’ve heard that from someone that I liked? It sucks. It sucks even more when you really wanted to date this guy.

I mean, we still had a great time at the market. He was the first one of us to ask to take a selfie (on the carousel)… which also got me extremely confused seeing as you normally don’t want to take a picture after telling the girl you don’t want anything serious…

First picture together at the Christmas Market.

Girls talk. We do. I talked to the girls at work about the incident and the unison response was, “…what? That makes no sense… How can he ask to see your exclusively without it being serious?”

That sentence boggled me for the longest time. Colleagues that worked with him longer than I have told me that it’s probably a miscommunication mixed with emotions and awkwardness. One of them even suggested I don’t waste any time with him anymore because he just wasn’t serious.

(When asked about this later, he agreed that it was a miscommunication).

In December, I met his best friends and they’re a great bunch of people. I don’t think I’ve ever clicked with any of my previous exes’ friends like this. At times, I still feel like I’m an outsider but for the most part, they’ve accepted me into their group and I’m so blessed and fortunate to call these people friends as well.

We moved in together in March 2017 when his roommate left abruptly. It was good timing as well because at that point of my life, I was looking to move out but didn’t want to live with a complete stranger and none of my friends were moving out either.

I eventually came to meet his brother and father as well. He met my mum too.

We then signed a lease together in May 2017.

And now, we’re due to celebrate our one year anniversary in November 2017!

tldr: Dan and I met at work and started dating in November 2016. We moved in together in March 2017. Signed our first lease together in May 2017. Going to celebrate our one year anniversary in November 2017.

Ladies, if you see someone you like – don’t ever hesitate to make the first move!

Guys, I’m on Tinder

Long ago, I was on Tinder and had my first Tinder meet up which needless to say, it was the sole reason I ended up deleting the app. Now, keep this in mind though, I think a few years ago, Tinder was solely a hook up app – nowadays, I feel a lot of users are using Tinder to legitimately meet new people and potentially start a relationship. It’s practically normal to hear people on Tinder.

Prior to Tinder, I reactivated my account on OkCupid and that lasted less than a week. I don’t know what I was thinking because the dating pool was awful and only guys that I would never in a million years date would message me.

Behold:

 
I don’t even know what crossed his mind when he thought he could possibly land a date with an intro like that… I mean, are you 16 years old or something?

Umm… first of all, you’re well over the age of what my profile said to message me. Second of all, I am more than an 8/10. Third of all, what kind of pick me up is that? Fourth of all, you’re really not my type. I remember cringing when I read his profile.

So, it’s safe to say that OkCupid is officially dead to me. A lot of my co workers talked me into getting on Tinder and I shared with them my previous experience and they reassured me that many users are now using Tinder to meet people and no longer an exclusive hook up app. He told me he came across a lot of female profiles that explicitly stated no hook ups.

I thought my co workers were bullshitting until I realized even the some of the guys’ profiles says no hooks up. It’s so strange that within a last few years, Tinder went from a shady hook up app to an app that genuinely is about meeting new people for hook ups, dates, hang outs, etc.

The guys I’ve chatted with are amazing. I mean, some are dull, some are not my type, and some are shitty, but nonetheless, my experience with Tinder is going great so far.

A little too… eager for me… and the last message? Cringe.

Back story: I matched with Dave and thought he was a pretty attractive guy and convo was going great so we decided to exchange numbers and agreed to meet up.

I took it upon myself to Facebook stalk him (He has an Irish name which made it 100000x easier) and saw more pictures and realized… eh. I know I sound very shallow but let’s be real – Tinder is based on a physical attraction match prior to personality.

Luckily, the day we agreed to meet up, he texted me saying he couldn’t make it which made me SO. HAPPY. SO. DAMN. HAPPY. Because I was dreading meeting him for coffee for the entire day.

As you can tell… he was still keen on meeting up, up until last Friday.

A few weeks ago, I texted Kendel telling her I agreed to meet up with Jonathan. Jonathan happened to be the guy after Dave and I told Kendel all about my dreading the coffee date and how thrilled I was that Dave cancelled.

 
Isn’t it wonderful to have such a great friend that doesn’t want you to end up single with 14 dogs?
I was actually excited to meet with Jonathan. We went for coffee and grabbed a quick snack and chatted well over 2 hours. I’m hesitant that it most likely won’t work out because I’m not Asian enough for him (he’s got yellow fever, haha). His face completely fell when I told him I don’t speak Chinese at all. He did invite me over to build a London bus with him with nano blocks sooo we’ll see how that goes.
Just a few days ago, I agreed to meet with Justin. 
Oh boy, let me tell you about Justin…
(Is it me or is there a trend with J’s? Will I be one of those cliche couples that has matching initials?!).
Justin is a software developer (hullllozzz) with wonderful bright blue eyes like the sky – and I’m a sucker for coloured eyes. We met at Steamworks and chatted over dinner.
My friend,  a Tinder expert, told me to avoid guys without a biography in their profiles because it usually means they’re douches and want a hook up. I took the whim anyways and swiped right. In addition, Justin and I barely talked for a week when we agreed to meet up and if you went through out conversation, we never talked about ourselves, just random shit. 
I was about 1/10 hesitant in meeting him because I didn’t know anything him. Nothing at all, not even his job.
Anyways, to my surprise, Justin and I clicked on very well
As in, as someone that LOVES history, photography, travels, sushi, castles, space, horror films, etc., etc., Justin loves them as well. Insane, eh? 
What are the chances? Justin is the first guy to ever share so many interests with me. It’s so refreshing to geek over cameras and express my love and interests in Medieval torturing techniques and not be seen as a geek or creep.
The only thing we disagreed on was snow and snow activities. I hate snow and skiing/snowboarding.. he loves them. 
If I’m being honest, Justin is probably the only one I’m interested in seeing again.

I learned in today’s age, you can’t jump to conclusions so quickly and have high hopes in dating.

But, I’d keep you guys updated on Justin and Jonathan.
And whoever I end up matching with and having a great time.

Tinder is quite amusing.