It’s a been a few months since I’ve rebranded to October Rain and publicly and actively shared my blog again. If you didn’t know, shortly after high school, I created a new blog and kept it “off the grid”, meaning, I did my best to hide it from my peers. I didn’t promote it by any means – hell, I didn’t even mention to people that I was a blogger.
I kept it so private, that the only way you could’ve found me was stalking my online friends or following me as I moved through multiple URL changes.
(But, a few did find me, lol).
I kept that blog “off the grid” for years! It wasn’t until last year when I shared little bits of my blog on Snapchat and casually mentioning to my peers that I blogged. Since then, the idea of having a “public blog” grew stronger and stronger until I talked to a few friends and ultimately decided to have a public blog again – thus, the rebranding to October Rain.
So, what’s it like having a public blog again? It’s embarrassing and shy.
It’s not like I’m trash talking anyone that I know of or posting explicit things. For me, blogging has been such a big secret hobby of mine and for the first time ever in years, I’m sharing my hobby with everyone again. It was different having a public blog back in high school because I wasn’t thinking of the consequences or cared much about it. I didn’t think people were even reading my blog because I never got any engagement on it, nor was I promoting it (I mean, did Facebook and Twitter even existed back then – wait, Facebook did but not Blogging Groups).
I feel exposed to the world for all my peers to read my thoughts and opinions. Including those who I normally wouldn’t share my thoughts with. I’m a personal blogger and always will be so I enjoy sharing fun adventures and deep thoughts I have at 3am. I mean, I can always stop posting about my life and transition into a lifestyle blogger, but then I get shy about that.
Who am I to “professionally” blog about travelling when I haven’t seen the world yet? Or talk about finances like I’m sitting on my ass raking in bank? I classify myself as a lifestyle blogger because I do blog about these topics but from time to time, and it’s from personal experiences. But I don’t want to blog about it full time like I know all there is to know about that topic.
I’m also very shy about my blog still. I don’t know why. I want to hide it from my peers (but not the world) because I fear that peers would judge me about my interests and what I say online. It’s like… do I want my peers to know how frugal I really am? Do they think my money saving tips is stupid and lame? The other day, my boyfriend was telling our circle of friends about my blog and what it’s called, and what I do, etc. My face wasn’t growing hot but I squirmed a bit because I’m being exposed as a blogger.
I guess, after years of hiding and secretly blogging (hell, even my ex-boyfriend didn’t even know I blogged), it’s like everyone is slowly discovering my secret naughty hobby. It’s like hiding your darkest secret for the longest time and having it exposed to the world. There’s nothing bad about blogging or being labelled a blogger – it’s almost like a norm nowadays.
When I re-launched as October Rain, I was also a bit scared and paranoid. You may have noticed that I blog under my middle name now, Claire. The reason being, I’m paranoid and conscious of my online footprint. I am aware that employers and people do Google you and back then, even if you didn’t search my full name and searched “[first name] + Vancouver”, I’m on the Google results. I hated it. I got so paranoid that I was so convinced that employers didn’t schedule any interviews with me because they found my blog and/or Twitter. I told my friends that if I was to have a public blog, I’d definitely be using my middle name, whether or not I do land on Google searches.
But, I’m getting used to it. I promote my blog actively and am no longer as shy as I was before to talk about my blog. Maybe I won’t openly mention it and if it comes up in a conversation, I’ll go with the flow, but it’s something I’m happy about it. It’s an online journal of my life and articles where people do find helpful. I’m so happy to have discovered blogging back in 6th grade and it’s one of the only hobbies that I’ve truly invested in time after time.