Jealousy, envy, whatever you want to call the green-eyed monster, it’s all part of life. We all experience this negative emotion at some point in our lives and for some, they might experience it more than others do.
Lately, I’ve been hit with envy in the cruelest way possible… via images on Facebook.
Oh, what fun social media can bring to your life. Without going into details, I just “stumbled” across some photos of a guy I had feelings for getting cozy with a girl.
In the past, I’ve always pride myself of not being the jealous-type and I still do. When I’m in a relationship, I seldom get jealous because I have trust in my partner. However, when something isn’t mine, I get jealous/envious.
And, the feeling suck. I hate having a negative emotion linger in me for a long period of time.
So, here’s 5 ways I beat jealousy/envy:
1. Remove yourself from the situation
Simple as that. In my case, I ended up blocking the guy I had feelings for on Facebook and refrained from visiting the girl’s page. Think about it: if you’re feeling bad about a photo, why torture yourself and constantly visit that page? Do whatever it takes to remove yourself from the situation weather it be deleting/unfollowing someone, blocking them, or walking away and “avoiding” them for a while until your feelings are gone.
2. Don’t compare yourself
Never compare yourself to another. Why?
Because there’s nothing to compare with. Each person is different – we have different ways to talking, walking, hobbies, interests, etc. You can’t compare yourself to someone that’s entirely different and think you’re no better than her because of how different you two are. Sure, she may have something you want or like but that doesn’t mean you can’t have the same, you know what I mean? She has your crush? Get over your crush and move on to someone that would take interest in you.
3. Talk about it
Sometimes, we jump to conclusions on things we don’t fully understand. Why not talk about it and get the real picture? Get the story from his side. Sometimes, things aren’t always what they seem. Some friends are closer than others. Some girls are generally just chirpy and not flirty. Talk it out with that person to clear the air and get straight to the point.
4. Treat yourself (and trash talk)
Battle your negative emotions with positive ones. I like to treat myself to a Frappucino or sushi whenever I feel negativity. And, if you’re in the mood to hang out with your girlfriends, trash talk the girl, LOL. I showed the cozy pictures to Sara and she instantly started criticizing the girl. I know it sounds harsh and it’s almost comparing yourself to her, but having your friends support you is a good healing process. You’re a bigger person when you know what your friend said is untrue but it still feels nice to hear positive things about yourself rather than the person you’re envious of.
5. Motivate yourself
Jealousy in an insanely powerful emotion. Use that to motivate you to succeed in life and reach towards a goal. So, your person drives a BMW? Work your way to a BMW. The girl has a nice body? Hit the gym 10x harder than she does. Curbing jealousy by transforming it into energy and motivation is the best thing you can do to get over your jealousy. I’m using that jealousy of seeing those photos to motivate me to get my ass over to New Zealand. You’re wondering… how do those two even match? They don’t. But, the boy left me some somewhat bitter memories of some parts of town and I’d rather get over him and not see him by moving away from my city.
Jealousy is life but it shouldn’t affect you so much. It’s often easier said than done to get rid of some emotions. If you learn to control your emotions, it gets easier. The best way is to not focus on negativity.