Life Happenings and Ramblings

Five Cons of Having Male Friends

April 11, 2014

I grew up with my brother and his friends and my male cousins. Majority of my cousins that are roughly my age, give or take a few years, are males. My female cousins were much younger so I didn’t connect with them as I did with the males.

That being said, I grew up with tons of “guy” related stuff and activities. I wouldn’t say I was a tomboy, I would still pick my pink dresses over a baseball cap, but growing up with males sort of contributed to having a more “male-mind and personality” than a girl’s mind – I didn’t start wearing makeup on a regular basis since earlier this year!…

If you take a look at my close group of friends, most of them are males and if you talk with me, most of my stories will be including a male friend over a female friend. To be honest, I don’t even know how to talk to girls and establish a relationship with females; I just don’t know much about “girly” stuff that most girls enjoy talking about.

 
 1. The “Girly” Things

I’m not shy when it comes to telling my best male friends girly things like bra/panties shopping, my period, hell, even emotions! But, sometimes guys just don’t understand what we go through. When I complain about my female friends, most guy friends will ask why girls do such things and why are we even making a big fuss over a certain thing. They also don’t understand the “time of the months” (even ones with girlfriends) and think we’re overexaggerating everything.

 2. Sexual Energy (& Hook Ups)
Here’s the thing: I tell my male friends straight up that they’re in the friendzone with no hopes of getting out. I told them, “My friendzone is like Camp 14 in North Korea. No one gets out.” Some of them laugh and acknowledges that we’re just going to be friends and nothing more. But, sometimes, when we hang out on a 1-to-1 basis, there’s some attraction going on and I feel it, and he feels it. My friends are good looking and (some) single, so it’s only natural that sometimes when we’re in a closed encounter, it’s the energy that comes out.
There’s this quote that says, “A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other… maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever.” – Dave Matthews Band; it’s true. There were some male friends that wanted to be more than friends but unfortunately, I didn’t feel that way and vice versa. 
Hook ups with friends, and potential relationships with friends is 10x more awkward than meeting and dating a new stranger. I’ve only done this once – “hook up” with a male friend and luckily, we both know it wasn’t right and we’re better off as friends. We still hang out, never shared our little secret to the rest of the group and there’s no awkward tensions, and better yet, no sexual tensions since we’ve cleared that. 
 3. VIP Bitch List
I’m not going to lie, I get jealous when my SO tells me he has close female friend(s) or, worst of all, his best friend(s) is a female. Regardless if she is single or not, she gets a VIP seating on the top of my “disliked” list until A) she and I get to BFF level or B) my SO and I broke up or C) she’s just out of the picture somehow (no more communication, moved away, etc.). Don’t lie, we’ve all placed that one person on our bitches list.
And, despite me doing this to my SO’s female friend(s), I’m also the victim of many, many, many girlfriends. I share a close relationship with my male friends, we share almost everything about our lives and we talk on a regular basis. To the girlfriend, it’s understandable that I can be seen as a “threat” despite how persistent the guy may tell her that “we’re just friends”, “she’s my oldest friend”, etc. etc. And the one thing I hate the most is when my friends change when they get a new SO.
4. “Are you her… boyfriend?” / The Protective Brother
One of the biggest con and awkward moment are when people ask if your best friend is your boyfriend. I mean, should I be flattered that we look good together? But, nonetheless, we chuckle (awkwardly) and politely deny our relationship and insist we’re only best friends. Only.
That being said, whenever I see a good looking guy, I’m pretty sure they assume my best friend as my boyfriend. So, can you say lack of phone numbers, or what? Being with my girlfriends, I’d get hit on a lot but once I’m thrown in my group of male friends, NO ONE comes up to me.
And, when I do find a nice boy, and I gush about him to my male friends, they’re usually upfront on telling me the worst of everything. They warn me to be careful and they want to meet him. They want to “approve” on him. They want to intimidate him and tell him that we’re her back up gang. You know what I mean?
5. The Match-Maker
Being the girl of many single guys, it’s extremely common to get the question, “Can you hook me up with one of your hot female friends?.” 
And then, they also want you to “disappear” when they see a cute girl across the club so you wouldn’t give the clubbing girl the impression you two are dating.
Don’t get me wrong, I love being friends with guys for many reasons buuut, it does get annoying when having male friends.

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  1. How I envy you! I`ve always wanted to go to an all-girls school; one of my previous co-workers was just telling me how awesome an all girl`s school is and especially the friendships that last longer than co-ed schools!

  2. Haha, 4chan can be such a nightmare. I haven`t been on it but a few of them have told me some of the pictures they`ve seen there. Luckily, most of my friends are 9gag fans so I spam them with cute kitten photos they`ve already seen hours before.

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